Could everyone write one simple essay about something that once happened in Saltaire…that they saw or were a part of…and put it on one big website? Somebody should collect a lot of stories before we all forget. Otherwise it is like a line in “On The Beach” : The history of the war that now would never be written.” -(JO'H)

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

VILLAGE GEARS UP FOR TICK ELIMINATION PLAN


Village to take a Whack at Lyme and other Tick Borne Diseases:

There being a direct relationship between the size of the deer herd in Saltaire and tick borne illnesses like Lyme disease, erlichiosis, and babesiosis the village this year intends to take a dead aim with blunt instruments at the tick’s hosts.

Over the past 20 years the Village has utilized different methods to reduce the tick population by controlling the size of the deer herd, including immuno-contraception where female deer are darted and injected with birth control drugs. This program has been only partially effective. These drugs have also had an adverse behavioral impact on male hornless deer mistakenly darted that then become dangerously “hornless no more,
even towards humans.

Since ticks present serious threats to the health and happiness of the deer population, the Village has determined that the best way to destroy the tick vector is to destroy the deer.

Hunting is not practical in the Village given the close proximity of residences and the year round presence of citizens. Accordingly, the Village has quietly retained a professional deer slayer who will humanely dispatch the animals using a blunt instrument such as a monkey wrench.. Done efficiently, the procedure is quick and painless, and venison from culled animals will be donated to needy Fire Island contractors and retired ferry boat captains. If quantities are sufficient, the deer meat could be marketed at the Village Cooperative Grocery.

The elimination of the tick vectors (the deer) will also have a beneficial effect for homeowners with flower and vegetable gardens, and exterminating the deer will reduce the possibility of collisions between deer and the vehicles of the Village Security force . This will help reduce the Village’s insurance premiums.
The Village expects the elimination program to be concluded before Memorial Day weekend.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

It's best to "whack" the fawns(baby deer) first - the meat is much tastier

Anonymous said...

Calling Carl Dahl,
Calling Carl Dahl